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I applied for a passport in my real name. The fbi doesn't like me, I am not wanted, but they don't like me. I am afraid for my life, an agent has threatened me before. What are some things I can do to protect myself? Should i start sleeping in abandoned houses? Anyone I should contact besides the police? I am thinking about buying a gun and some more security equipment but i don't have too much money. I need to pay my taxes, cause they're going to come after me for that shit too.

I just wrote two reports on the fbi website, and I called a bunch of retired fbi agents for advice who thought I was pretty much full of shit. I am not full of shit, sadly.

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You talked to an FBI agent? And why would the FBI not like you. The only reason you would get "swatted" is if you are a wanted terrorist/affiliate. Also SWATting is a prank, so if you are to be swatted it's not because the feds don't like you. Please if you are going to ask questions be full with your answer like what exactly are you accused of, why wouldn't they like you, why would you assume they don't like you. I don't mean to sound narcissistic but this honestly sounds like a paranoia mishap and I'd recommend perhaps editing the question.

An fbi agent saw me do something to my baby on my computer camera. Not anything illegal in fact, but very bizarre, one could easily interpret it as sexual. I'd have to describe it but I don't want to. I believe the threat to be very real. They told me they do very special bad things for crimes involving babies. I'm not a criminal, but I'm considering going to the fbi office tomorrow and confessing exactly to what I did, then seeing what happens. I think technically it's not sexual abuse, but since it was so weird the agent felt like he needed to take action. I am very convinced the threat is real. I can't handle the suspense of not knowing what will happen. I'm a woman by the way.

I understand I sound mentally ill and my post doesn't really make a lot of sense. I believe the threat to be real but I'll leave it up to you to decide.

Also, I love my son, I wasn't thinking clearly. I insist that what I did was not sexual in nature. I am a victim of childhood sexual abuse that was much more egregious. I am confident that if/when I tell my son he would forgive me without hesitation. It's gross, but silly... hard to explain.

take 6 grams of Haloperidol, that will make you invisible

5 Answers

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i, like the "bunch of retired fbi agents"....also believe you are full of shit, lol...

you say "the fbi doesn't like you"...... the fbi isn't capable of liking nor disliking a person, it is an entity consisting of several thousand personnel, stationed throughout the world, tasked with various law enforcement and investigative tasks..... to believe that such a widespread, professional federal agency involved in serious and significant global investigations, would for some strange reason, have a personal dislike for some individual, any individual... so much so that they would falsify an affidavit of probable cause, and present said false document to a federal judge, which in itself is a felony... for the sole purpose of exacting some agency-wide revenge upon the likes of your swinging dick....

well, that's just about the goddamn silliest thing i've ever heard.....

please stop

answered by Senpai (168,955 points)  
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I'm not an expert at this shit,but here's the best advice I could come with.

Get out of your house.Take a backpack and stuff it with food,water,hygiene products,and preferably a weapon and first aid kit

Make it look like you're inside the house.Turn on the lights,turn the TV on,put a bunch of pillows under your blanket and lock the bedroom door.Then run like hell.If the SWAT team breaks in then they're gonna think you're in the bedroom and will be surprised when they find no one there.

I would recommend finding a secure spot high of the ground where you can see your house.Wait for 2 weeks or for however long you think is necessary.Keep a look out on your house.That way you'll be able to see if they break in.

answered by N00b 3.0 (610 points)  
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It is extremely unlikely you will be SWAT-ed. Officially anyhow. Thing of it is, that is a measure reserved for those situations that call for immediate and swift action.

Which does not coincide with your own claim that they have nothing actionable on you.

Either they suspect you are guilty of something, something violent (in most cases, SWAT-ing does not apply to mere drug charges) and want to take you off the streets. Or... you are completely full of it as has been suggested by others.

My money is on you being full of it.

If the FBI disliked you to the point of sending a SWAT team to you, you probably did something to deserve it. They do not dislike individuals just for the heck of it. That would be the same as suggesting that the IRS is taxing individual people more than others just because.

There are laws governing the use of SWAT teams. Not even the FBI can break those laws.

So, really... just tell us, you've done something, right? No need to tell us exactly what that was. Just be honest. Either you're a criminal... or you're talking out of your ass. Well, third possibility... you might be suffering from mental health issues. You could be on the verge of a psychotic episode.

Paranoia is a really strong indicator of that. Please, seek professional help. Before you end up harming yourself.

Good luck.

answered by Apprentice (3,810 points)  
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I am sure the FBI like you. They just have difficulty showing their emotions.

answered by Novice (1,000 points)  
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I'm going to take you at your word and that you did something that could be interpreted as possibly wrong with a child, and an agent made a veiled threat towards you.

1) You would not be "swatted" or raided by the FBI. You would likely be served with a warrant, by the local police and possibly have your devices confiscated.

2) If you think this FBI agent has threatened you, he has superiors and there is a procedure in place to make a report against him. Also I believe he was just trying to scare you, as he has no right to act on that threat.

3) The "crime" would not rise to the level of having you wiped out or disappeared. That is a great exaggeration in your mind.

4) It is possible that you have a delusional disorder or are/were hallucinating. I would suggest seeing a psychiatrist to help either rule that out, or rule it in.

Either way try and calm down. I think your fears are exaggerated and you are not likely to get swatted base on what you have told us. Being sexually abused as a child can have some deep lasting effects. I would suggest getting counseling regardless of the reality or what is happening to you right now.

If you do wish to feel safe I suggest confronting the situation with a professional. They can help, possibly with medication, or even just talking it out can help relieve some of your fear.

Again I believe your fears will not come to pass and do what you can to calm yourself down :)

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